She’s developed quite the little personality and I can definitely see some differences in her reactions as a little girl.  It’s strange but she is a bit more dramatic than her brother was at this age.  It’s as if we’re wired to be that way.  She’s so beautiful though.  Even when she’s thrown herself on the floor because mommy needs to take a shower.

She’s not walking yet.  I blame myself partly for that.  With Monkey, I stayed home and worked part-time his first year and half.  With Princess, we made the choice for me to go back to work so we could save up money towards a new house  — btw, we are moving soon!  All of this means she hasn’t received as much attention or teaching as he did.  But she’s getting there.  It will happen.  I’m not sweating it.

The one thing I am sweating is quitting breastfeeding.  I’m secretly holding onto this because I know she’s our last baby.  Plus, I’m lazy.  It’s so much easier to breastfeed at night instead of using bottles.  Yes, she’s not sleeping through the night either.  She gets up anywhere between 1-3 times a night.  Right now I think it’s due teething — she’s only got 2!  There’s another 2 on top trying to break through at the same time now and I’m sure that’s painful.

Princess loves her brother.  She smiles whenever he does anything.  She likes crawling over to him and giving him hugs.  And he too loves her.  Last night I was giving her a bath and she decided that she was going to try to stand up and grab something that fell out of the tub.  Bad idea.  If I hadn’t of been right there to grab her arm (which of course, where else would I be at this stage), she would have hit her head on the toilet.  But I think the shock of me grabbing her arm to pull her back really scared her.  She started crying hard and I ended up getting her out of the bath and holding her wrapped up in a towel for a long time before she calmed down.  Point of me telling you this is that Monkey came rushing in and asked if he could give her a hug.  He’s so sweet.  And his hug definitely helped!

I’m loving and dreading Princess growing up all at the same time.  It makes it harder when I think Monkey has grown so fast.  Blink and its gone.  I wish I could capture not just pictures and videos but actual memories complete with touch and smell.  Each time Princess puts her hand on my face or Monkey gives me a kiss goodbye at school — I wish I could capture that for a lifetime and relive it with each sense in place years from now.

Monkey is getting so big.  He’ll be 4 in June.  Hard to believe.  He just learned how to ride his bike without training wheels.  Even harder to believe.  Now that Princess is around I keep thinking back to when he was just a little baby.  It truly is amazing how quickly they grow up and the amount of stuff they learn in just a short amount of time.

A few fun Monkey stories …

Creative Juices

Sooo… the other day I picked Monkey up from daycare and his daycare provider informed me they had been playing with water guns earlier in the day.  Apparently, she had put out a bucket of water for them to refill their water guns in but it eventually ran out of water.  So Monkey decided to use his “own” water.  *gasp*  Yes, I’ll let you figure it out.  She thought it was creative and laughed about it thankfully.  Not sure the parents of the other children were too happy cleaning their kids clothes that night though.

Choice Words

Another naughty Monkey story, on the day the daycare provider sent out an email about cussing.  All of the older boys there seem to swap cuss words they’ve learned like playing cards or something.  I know I’m not innocent about slipping a few (maybe more) times in front of him but he’s come home saying ones we don’t say.  Anyway, I wasn’t the parent who complained but another parent did (which is fine, we’ve been working on that with him).  BUT, the same day the daycare provided sent something out, our little Monkey was good ALL day until another parent came to pick her son up.  As a nice little send-off my son yells out to the other boy, “See you later, stupid @ss!” LOL!  Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh … but I can just imagine it and I know our son has pretty good comedic timing and delivery from other non-offensive things he’s said.

Princess Updates

Growing, growing, growing, that little girl is growing!

Princess is smiling and laughing.  She’s starting to sit up and has been a rolling fool!  Now the quest is on to get her to say “Mama!” before “Dada!” (muuuhaahaha).    Her hair is starting to get fuller and she’s definitely getting a little personality.  Mostly though I have to say she’s WAAAAY more chill than her older brother (whom she LOVES, BTW).

That’s it for now.  I hope to keep this more up to date but no promises!

Example 1

While playing with his squishy lizards ( the kind you find in the toy aisle of the grocery store sometimes), he took three of them and proceeded to tell me they were a daddy, mommy, and baby lizard. Then he put the baby lizard into one of organization trays I had laying around and said that was the crib.

I watched silently as he played and was completely amazed and amused when the mommy lizard took the baby lizard out of the crib then Monkey put the baby lizard onto the mommy lizard and made sucking noises. So observant!

Example 2

Today, the husband of our daycare provider asked Monkey “What does your mommy have now?” — meaning the baby. However, what was Monkey’s response?

“Mommy has big boobs!” — guess he’s noticed their increase in size since my milk came in!

Princess was sent home with elevated billirubin levels. The doctor seemed to think that with enough feeding and sunlight she would get over the jaundice without additional day under a billirubin blanket.

In addition, Monkey had developed the sniffles which a few days later turned into a full blown cold. Luckily, he had no fever so our daycare provider graciously kept letting him come — even keeping him late one night just to keep his germs away from Princess!

Well, it rained Monday – Thursday. Not much sunlight. So each day we took her back to the hospital to be tested (involving a pin prick to her foot to gather blood each time). Not fun. And each day the doctor would call back saying the levels had crept up a bit but to stay the course essentially.

When I got the call Thursday, I became a little mad when the nurse told me she couldn’t find a medical rental agency in our vicinity that had a blanket available. I told her I’d be willing to drive one state over if necessary, but apparently she was done calling around. Again, stay the course.

So I started to worry that maybe my supply wasn’t enough and perhaps I should express milk that night just so we’d know exactly how much she was getting. I was having flashbacks to when Monkey had jaundice and ended up giving him a bottle on day two because I couldn’t get a hold on the breastfeeding thing.

Next morning, it was sunny so I put her in our bedroom window which catches the most sunlight at that time of day. Then after an hour or so of sunlight went back yet again to the hospital.

As we were leaving the hospital, I started to shiver uncontrollably. I was freezing. When we got home I felt really ill and changed into some sweatpants and put my robe on but was still shivering. My MIL said my lips were bluish white and told me to lay down. She covered me with two blankets and that helped. I fell asleep for about an hour but when I got up, nothing had changed.

That’s when I decided to take my temperature. 104.1! I took some ibuprofen and waited a half hour–104.3! It was then that I decided to to the ER. My MIL drove me there but just as we were getting in the car, my daycare provider called and said Monkey’s cough was getting worse and that he was miserable. I explained what was going on and she agreed to keep him anyway.

So why did I have a fever? Mastitis! On week one! They gave me IV fluids and antibiotics — within two hours the fever was down enough that I could go home.

Tough week but with help of those around us, the cirque family made it through. Ever thankful for my family and friends!

Not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but about a year after Monkey was born I started therapy because I was severely depressed.  The therapist said that it was probably prolonged from not treating post-partum depression right away.  So I went on Paxil, then Zoloft and it turned out to be the best decision for me.  I was able to concentrate more, be focused on things that mattered and not dwell endlessly on those things which didn’t.

I had to go off of the medication during Princess’ third trimester and I decided when I found that I was pregnant that I would go off of it for the entire pregnancy.  That was difficult but gave me a peace of mind that anything she could end up having disability-wise, wouldn’t be from me taking Zoloft.  I started the medication right away after giving birth to her and I think it has definitely helped.  That along with the super easy delivery of Princess.  I didn’t tear as much this time and I feel great overall — not worn out and battered.

Anyway, I’m writing this because if anyone out there is struggling after having given birth, don’t wait to see someone about it.  Don’t tough it out or think it’s normal to be that miserable.  Get some help so you can enjoy your baby sooner than later.