Princess was sent home with elevated billirubin levels. The doctor seemed to think that with enough feeding and sunlight she would get over the jaundice without additional day under a billirubin blanket.

In addition, Monkey had developed the sniffles which a few days later turned into a full blown cold. Luckily, he had no fever so our daycare provider graciously kept letting him come — even keeping him late one night just to keep his germs away from Princess!

Well, it rained Monday – Thursday. Not much sunlight. So each day we took her back to the hospital to be tested (involving a pin prick to her foot to gather blood each time). Not fun. And each day the doctor would call back saying the levels had crept up a bit but to stay the course essentially.

When I got the call Thursday, I became a little mad when the nurse told me she couldn’t find a medical rental agency in our vicinity that had a blanket available. I told her I’d be willing to drive one state over if necessary, but apparently she was done calling around. Again, stay the course.

So I started to worry that maybe my supply wasn’t enough and perhaps I should express milk that night just so we’d know exactly how much she was getting. I was having flashbacks to when Monkey had jaundice and ended up giving him a bottle on day two because I couldn’t get a hold on the breastfeeding thing.

Next morning, it was sunny so I put her in our bedroom window which catches the most sunlight at that time of day. Then after an hour or so of sunlight went back yet again to the hospital.

As we were leaving the hospital, I started to shiver uncontrollably. I was freezing. When we got home I felt really ill and changed into some sweatpants and put my robe on but was still shivering. My MIL said my lips were bluish white and told me to lay down. She covered me with two blankets and that helped. I fell asleep for about an hour but when I got up, nothing had changed.

That’s when I decided to take my temperature. 104.1! I took some ibuprofen and waited a half hour–104.3! It was then that I decided to to the ER. My MIL drove me there but just as we were getting in the car, my daycare provider called and said Monkey’s cough was getting worse and that he was miserable. I explained what was going on and she agreed to keep him anyway.

So why did I have a fever? Mastitis! On week one! They gave me IV fluids and antibiotics — within two hours the fever was down enough that I could go home.

Tough week but with help of those around us, the cirque family made it through. Ever thankful for my family and friends!

Not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but about a year after Monkey was born I started therapy because I was severely depressed.  The therapist said that it was probably prolonged from not treating post-partum depression right away.  So I went on Paxil, then Zoloft and it turned out to be the best decision for me.  I was able to concentrate more, be focused on things that mattered and not dwell endlessly on those things which didn’t.

I had to go off of the medication during Princess’ third trimester and I decided when I found that I was pregnant that I would go off of it for the entire pregnancy.  That was difficult but gave me a peace of mind that anything she could end up having disability-wise, wouldn’t be from me taking Zoloft.  I started the medication right away after giving birth to her and I think it has definitely helped.  That along with the super easy delivery of Princess.  I didn’t tear as much this time and I feel great overall — not worn out and battered.

Anyway, I’m writing this because if anyone out there is struggling after having given birth, don’t wait to see someone about it.  Don’t tough it out or think it’s normal to be that miserable.  Get some help so you can enjoy your baby sooner than later.

Yesterday, at 5:23 pm, our little girl came into the world. I started the Pitocin at 8:45 am (ish) and the doctor broke my water around 9:30, I think. Then the contractions started and I wimped out — getting the epidural around 10:45. The original nurse made a prediction of 1:00 pm and I think that got my hopes up. So when 3:00 rolled around and the next nurse came in and stated I was only dialated 3-4 cm, I was very discouraged. She along with my surrogate nurse, my MIL (who did wonderfully, BTW, in keeping my spirits high), kept informing me of the major contractions I was having, trying to cheer me up (I was REALLY numb and couldn’t even feel my left leg).

But then the epidural started to wear off and I could feel a little more pain and pressure (I kept telling the nurse it felt like I had to poop really bad and had severe constipation cramps) and the contractions were definitely strong. DH helped by reminding me of the breathing techniques. By 4:00, I had dialated to 5 cm and by 5:00 I was at 10 — with a “top off” on the epidural for the finale!

The doctor came in and within 5 contractions and 10 pushes, our little girl was out! It was SOOOO easy. Thank God for modern medicine!

But this teaching experience has taught me a metaphorical lesson as well.  In order to move forward, you must keep peddling.  I think I’ve been coasting a lot lately and sometimes, that’s okay.  A well deserved break from pushing so hard or in order to get back to health is sometimes needed.  Now that I’m back to a healthy state though, I’m thinking it’s time to start peddling again. 

 The key is to get rolling but not lose sight of the scenery as well I suppose.  Something I’m desperately trying to teach Monkey and it seems myself.

To make things just a tad bit more difficult, DH has been traveling for work a lot this year.  And timing on my illnesses has been uncanny to say the least.  Usually on the week he’s gone or about to leave.  Wah. Wah. Wah.  I know.  But it’s been difficult to deal with a toddler (whose behavior has been challenging to say the least) and be sick and basically have no real time to rest and get better.

Today I went to see the doctor yet again who confirmed the second bout of bronchitis.  She prescribed another round of antibiotics plus the tylenol with codeine she prescribed last time.  “WHAT?!”, you may be asking yourself right now.  Apparently, it’s common to prescribe tylenol with codeine for pregnant woman who have bronchitis because believe it or not, it’s actually safer for the baby than taking cough syrup.  I found this hard to believe since it’s a Category C drug but the  doctor assured me that’s it okay for me to take a weeks worth until my throat finally feels better.  She said that if I took it a lot during the pregnancy, like months, then it might be an issue.

But she also said something else which really eased my mind and I didn’t even mention this symptom to her because it’s well, kinda embarrassing.  You see, I’ve been coughing so hard that each time I pee myself a little.  And without me even saying it, she said, “You must be feeling terrible, you poor thing.  Coughing and probably peeing yourself.”

I said, “I’m glad you said something about that because I wasn’t going to mention it.”

She said, “We’ve all been there, honey.  It will go away.”

WHEW!  I’ve been worried about this being a permanent thing and having to buy adult undergarments at this age!  So needless to say, I’m looking forward to not being sick for not just the obvious reasons but for this reason too!