15 Wednesday Sep 2010
Posted in Parenthood
DH said something funny about a week which for whatever reason I was reminded if this morning. I laughed out loud again so I thought I’d share.
(Pointing to Monkey): “I can’t believe THAT came out of your vagina.”
06 Monday Sep 2010
Posted in Parenthood
It has recently been pressing on my brain that I NEED to be in control of my body and how it functions. I suppose its the fact that I’m working at what feels like 40% capacity of my normal self due to the fact that I’m in my third trimester. I can’t get around quickly, I tire easily, my mood shifts drastically and I feel unable to cope with many of my day-to-day responsibilities. Which is why it has become ever so evident that once kid #2 is out, I must — no, ifs, ands or buts — take care of myself. Sounds selfish but really in the end (another lesson which has become ever so evident) no is going to take care of you, except YOU.
YOU need a nap. YOU take it. MAKE it happen. Don’t expect anyone else to care about your needs.
YOU need to eat. EAT. Don’t wait for appropriate “dinner” time or for anyone else to get hungry enough to participate with you.
And lastly, YOU need to exercise. Don’t expect anyone to make time in their schedule for you to fit in it. YOU do it when it’s convenient for YOU, NOT THEM.
Meeting these needs is difficult when you are repsonsible for one, soon to be two, little ones. But I MUST make it work. It’s critical not only to my own well-being but to my children. I must be a well-oiled, fine-tuned machine — for them. They deserve a mother who is healthy, balanced and not on the brink of a meltdown due to lack of care for herself.
The problem I see right now is the weight — I’m heavier now than I was with Monkey at his birth. Partly due to starting out heavier (even with the 6 pounds I lost in the first trimester, I started out heavier), partly because I’ve been emotionally eating. Home, work and personal life hasn’t been what I want it to be lately and while I started out with good intentions on the self-discovery path, it’s all degraded into binging on chocolate with the justification: “This is the last time I can eat like a pig and get away with it.”
Now I have roughly 40 pounds I need to lose in order to be a healthy weight (according to BMI charts), only 25 of that is “baby weight”. Sure lots of that will be gone when the baby comes out and breastfeeding will help. But I can’t depend on those solely. I must exercise and eat right. I need to be like a lioness, fit and lean, ready for the kill and to provide for my cubs.
There are lots of reasons this is coming out now but one thought I had yesterday while driving to the water park made it really hit home for me. Monkey and I were in the car and this heavy-set woman (not pregnant but overweight) was on the side of the road waiting to cross. As we passed by I looked in my rear view mirror and saw her do the same thing I do now to “get going” — a little “heave-ho” move to get your body started because it needs more momentum than it used to need. And it struck me, losing weight isn’t easy. It’s a downward spiral once you start gaining weight and it’s one that’s hard to stop.
Now this isn’t to say I’m striving for a model’s body. I just need to be FIT, HEALTHY, and AGILE so I can do what I need to do efficiently. It’s very daunting though. It’s a big task which truly has no ending. It’s a lifetime commitment. Maybe I should buy myself a wedding card … Congratulations, La Folle and her body on their new life together!
09 Monday Aug 2010
Posted in For better or for worse, Parenthood
I posted earlier tonight on FB that I’m a multitasking fool. And I think it bares further explanation as to the magnitude of the multitasking I was performing.
Within a fifteen minute span, I was cooking a grilled cheese for Monkey’s dinner (this happens often when I have to work at night), peeling a carrot as his “side dish”, printing out copies of instructions for tomorrow’s meeting at the client, testing workflows for another project AND posting on Facebook. Plus fielding the numerous questions Monkey usually throws my way like “Can I have cookie? What about after dinner? Can I watch Mickey? Where is daddy? Is he bringing me something special?”
I hate the nights I have to work in order to meet deadlines or make up for other mishaps at work. But to pat myself on the back, I handled it pretty well tonight.
03 Tuesday Aug 2010
Posted in For better or for worse, Parenthood
In roughly two months, we’ll be embarking on a new phase of our parenting journey … raising TWO. This concept still scares me and most days I just try to ignore the nagging thoughts of “How will Monkey take it?”, “How can I juggle their bedtimes, feeding (especially breastfeeding)?”, “Where will I find the energy to do it all?” There are many other thoughts I try to suppress regularly for fear of drowning my brain in situation planning or forecasting but those three questions I would say are my top worries. With the energy one, I’d like to finally get rid of the baby fat since this IS OUR LAST KID so help me.
So my question to all of you out there dealing with two OR MORE kids, how do you handle …
21 Wednesday Jul 2010
Posted in Deep Thoughts, Parenthood
I really need to start paying attention to what I say and do … and promise. After reading, Screamfree Parenting, I vowed that I would always try to keep any promises I made to Monkey, good and bad. And to be honest, my track record has been pretty good. But tonight, I almost broke one and it almost brought me to tears.
While putting Monkey to bed (a little earlier than usual because somehow his bedtime creeped up to 9:30), we had a little problem. We read 3 books and I sat and talked with him for a while but when I informed him that I was going to bed, he pleaded for me to stay in the chair “a little bit longer”. And this is my fault. I’ll admit it. Whenever he seems like he’s going to get upset about me leaving, I’ll say, “I’ll stay a little bit longer” and most nights that little bit longer does the trick and he’s content to go to sleep after the first “little bit”. But tonight was not one of those nights.
After the second bit, he started to wail and got out of bed, latching onto my leg as I tried to leave his room. I don’t like for him to get worked up before bed because I know when I’m worked up prior to going to bed, it doesn’t lead to good sleep. I asked as calmly as I could manage for him to go back to bed and he pleaded and cried for me to sit in the chair more. I didn’t want to give in because I knew if I did that would mean three “little bits” tomorrow night and so on. So in a very tender voice, I said, “Get back in bed and I’ll give you another kiss and hug.” This worked.
He got back in bed and I tucked him in … then I proceeded to walk out the door!
“But you said you’d give me a hug and kiss!” he wailed. MY GOD, did I feel awful. I apologized and gave him the hug and kiss I promised but still felt like a heel. Then he said, “Can I give you a kiss?” and he did and then I wanted to cry. I felt so horrible. I’ve been blessed with such a sweet little guy and I need to respect that.
