cirque du bebe

I’m officially in baby bliss.  Not positive if it was because I was so inexperienced or because Monkey had GERD or because of post-partum depression, but I was quite miserable when Monkey was first born.  And I’m having some regrets about that, wishing I had enjoyed his infancy as much as I’m enjoying Princess as newborn.  It wasn’t his fault, afterall, he was just a baby. 

Not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but about a year after Monkey was born I started therapy because I was severely depressed.  The therapist said that it was probably prolonged from not treating post-partum depression right away.  So I went on Paxil, then Zoloft and it turned out to be the best decision for me.  I was able to concentrate more, be focused on things that mattered and not dwell endlessly on those things which didn’t.

I had to go off of the medication during Princess’ third trimester and I decided when I found that I was pregnant that I would go off of it for the entire pregnancy.  That was difficult but gave me a peace of mind that anything she could end up having disability-wise, wouldn’t be from me taking Zoloft.  I started the medication right away after giving birth to her and I think it has definitely helped.  That along with the super easy delivery of Princess.  I didn’t tear as much this time and I feel great overall — not worn out and battered.

Anyway, I’m writing this because if anyone out there is struggling after having given birth, don’t wait to see someone about it.  Don’t tough it out or think it’s normal to be that miserable.  Get some help so you can enjoy your baby sooner than later.