In roughly two months, we’ll be embarking on a new phase of our parenting journey … raising TWO. This concept still scares me and most days I just try to ignore the nagging thoughts of “How will Monkey take it?”, “How can I juggle their bedtimes, feeding (especially breastfeeding)?”, “Where will I find the energy to do it all?” There are many other thoughts I try to suppress regularly for fear of drowning my brain in situation planning or forecasting but those three questions I would say are my top worries. With the energy one, I’d like to finally get rid of the baby fat since this IS OUR LAST KID so help me.
So my question to all of you out there dealing with two OR MORE kids, how do you handle …
Jealousy? Feelings of neglect from kid A or from others?
Bedtimes? Feeding times? BREASTFEEDING … in front of kid A or no?
Energy, sleep woes and exercise?
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It’s not always easy, but it’s not always hard either. You will figure out what works for you and your family. You really will!
As for your questions, I can answer how I do some of them:
-Breastfeeding: IMHO, it is important to breastfeed in front of kid A. How else are we going to normalize the natural act of breastfeeding in a culture that has move so far away from it being the normal thing to do? IMO kids should know that breastfeeding is a normal/nature way to feed babies, and it should not be taboo or weird to breastfeed in front of children or in public.
-Jealousy/neglect: I make sure that I spent time and focus attention on both of them individually, as well as together as a family.
-Bedtimes: Hubby had to take over bedtimes for the older kid while I put baby to bed. I know other moms are able to put both to bed, and I do sometimes, but it was much easier for hubby to take one and I take the other.
-Energy/sleep woes/exercise: Ah… Well… Hmmm… I’ll let you know when we figure these out! HA!
while I only have the one kid, I’d say breastfeed in front of them.
Mostly because I come from a large family, I’m the eldest, and my Mom did. We weren’t scarred. If anything, a little jealousy did kick in and a little kid may ask to have some too (expressed milk in a dixie cup stopped further requests).
And since I have nothing of worth to say on the rest, I’ll say adieu!
Jealousy: I think Aria has been a little jealous but it’s never been a big deal. So far she just takes everything that’s his when she wants it and since he is so little he doesn’t care. But that’s about to change. Emmett’s becoming more aware and this will be the next thing we’ll have to learn to deal with for sure. I try to include Aria when I take care of Emmett and she enjoys helping out. She LOVED feeding him when he started to eat solids. So cute! We also spend a lot of time doing things with her one on one.
Breastfeeding: Aria is little so she doesn’t have any preconceptions about what’s normal or not. She asked a couple questions at first but then it just became a part of our normal routine (and I told her that I nursed her too). I ended up pumping full-time by 4 months until 1yr and she was cool with that too. Sometimes she would even imitate it…we’d just giggle about it. It’s only weird if you make it weird
What helped me out the most is that Aria went to school everyday so I could focus on Emmett. There were a couple weeks when I was home full-time that Aria was off from school. I was suprised how well I handled it. Aria was more understanding and patient then I thought she could ever be! And I also used a 30 min tv program during some nursing sessions if I needed it to keep her busy.
Bedtimes: I think we lucked out on bedtimes. A coworker gave me a book about 12 hrs by 12 weeks. It took a little longer then that but our routine has worked perfect for us (followin much of the advise from the book). I do bath with both of them together starting at 7, I take Emmett out and get him dressed (in the bathroom), then Aria comes out. If I’m alone, she’ll come with me to read a book to Emmett and I just put him down in the crib (with pacifier, lovey, and crib music playing) and he’s good. Then I continue the rest with Aria (dressing, teeth, books, song, music). The whole thing takes about an hour, but it’s pretty much the same EVERY night so they know what to expect. They both wake up at 7 which is nice too. The best thing about Emmett is that we trained him to stay in his bed until 7 no matter what and he’s cool with it (because that’s all he knows). Aria gets up a little earlier sometimes and since she’s older it’s not a big deal (she can entertian herself while we get ready). I think that’s were we learned a lesson with Aria – she’s wake up at 5 and we’d get up with her for the day…somehow we got it right with Emmett and he’s even awake some mornings just waiting!
Energy/Sleep/Exercise: I handled the lack of sleep MUCH better this time around. I guess it was all the practice from #1. Emmett would stay in his crib all night but he would wake screaming a couple times a night because he lost his paci. I’d just have to replug him and he’d go back to sleep. Not bad, but it still disturbed my sleep! It’s getting much better now days. I’m almost done pumping as well and I have new found time. My goal is to start exercising in the morning a couple times a week (instead of my 45 min pump session). We’ll see if I can get motivated to do this. Time will tell. I’m not going to stress about it but I know it will realy help me in the long run and provde me the much needed energy I’m lacking these days.
You’ll do fine! You’ll find that super mom energy that will get you through it. One day at a time…one hour at a time!
One more thing…teamwork got me through it all and thankfully you have a supportive hubby that be there as well! Go team!
Thanks to everyone for the responses! It seems the breastfeeding thing will go well for us if we just keep it “normal”. And I love Becoming Mommy’s idea about expressing in a cup to end that nonsense. I bet that’s hilarious to see the look on their face once they’ve tasted it.
I do hope we’re as lucky as Dana with the bedtimes. I’ve been arming us with more helpers such as darker bedroom curtains for both the new baby’s room and Monkey’s room so hopefully that will help!