Posted in April 2010 …

Apr 29 2010
1 Comment
For better or for worse, Parenthood

In the Ghetto …

Recently, DH and I took Monkey to see Thomas the Train at the B & O Museum in Baltimore.  I thought for sure they’d just slap a face on an old train but they actually had an engine that looked like Thomas there.  The train cars where the parents and kids sat were all old MARC train cars but at least the front was authentic.

I knew where the B & O Museum was located when I chose this event for us.  It’s on the western side of Baltimore, just on the outskirts of where it gets dangerous at night.  However, I had no idea where the 25 minute train ride would take us … in the ghetto.

We got on the train and there were about 300 people on the train I’d guess.   As the train started going, we (along with other parents and kids) noticed there were Baltimore policemen on motorcycles going back and forth on either side of the train.  AND THEN, we started seeing burned out townhouses, graffiti laden buildings, trash piles … you get the idea.  It became quite obvious why the motorcade was there.  The train was a big bounty for anyone who tried to rob it.  The last thing the B&O Museum needed was an incident with this train ride.

But the whole thing was a little surreal because as we were traveling through the ghetto, the theme song to Thomas the Train was playing.

“They’re two, they’re four, they’re six, they’re eight,
Shunting trucks and hauling freight.
Red and green and brown and blue” … there’s another crackhead too!

Very surreal and several parents looked at each other with that knowing look like “Wow, this is weird”.

As we started back (the train just went forward then back), I noticed a group of small kids (ages 4-7 I’m guessing) standing at the chain link fence which separated their street from the train tracks.  It made me a little sad because their parents might not be able to afford to buy them a “Day with Thomas the Tank Engine”.

How ever surreal it might have been for DH and I, Monkey loved it and wanted to go back the next day.  I’m glad no matter how simple it was, he enjoyed it.

Apr 28 2010
6 Comments
Happy Thoughts, Pregnancy, Sickness and Health

Number two on the way

The cat’s out of the bag.  I’m pregnant.

I’ve been wanting to tell the world for a while but DH and I decided that it would be best to go through with an amniocentesis and make sure everything was okay this time.  Why?  Because I’m an old buzzard with a greater likelihood of having issues.  A few friends had asked and I denied at first because of this agreement that DH and I had about letting the world know.  So I was “taking the fifth” as one of my old high school friends put it.

After getting the glowing results, I can now say that not only are we having another healthy child but that child is a GIRL!  But I knew the sex prior to even having the amniocentesis.  “How?” you may ask.  Wives’ tales and a little bit of science.

For one, I was REALLY sick this time around in the first trimester, going into a good bit of the second as well (I lost 6 pounds in one week which the doctor didn’t like too much).  Starting about my third week I was getting queasy and by the fifth week I was throwing up not just in the morning but pretty much feeling sick or getting sick until early evening.  (Then there was the week I had not only morning sickness but a stomach virus — but that’s another post maybe.)  So why did this make me feel it was a girl?  Wives’ tales have long said this but in fact, there’s a bit of science behind it.  Apparently, the hormone levels within a woman’s body when she is carrying a girl will indeed make her more sick than if she were carrying a boy.

Second, my cravings.  I didn’t have much cravings in the first trimester but when the morning sickness eased up, when I did want something it was clear I did have a preference.  I’ve been told by several people that women crave sweets when carrying a girl and proteins when carrying a boy.  With Monkey, I craved sausage and eggs constantly.  With this one, I’ve been craving chocolate and watermelons or cantaloupe.

Third, the day of conception.  I’ve heard that male sperm swim faster and die off quicker.  Female sperm swim slower but last longer.  DH was leaving for Vegas a few days prior to my ovulation the month we conceived.  So we made sure to “do the deed” prior him leaving and voila!  Preggers with a girl.

So this is why I knew.  I wish I could have been so certain about the healthy part but honestly, the amniocentesis wasn’t that bad.  I had built it up in my mind as this horrific event and it truly wasn’t.   Some cramping afterward but I was able to attend a meeting two hours after the event and didn’t have a problem.

Number two on the way.  Still scary to think about.  Don’t think I would have ever been ready.  Will be an interesting road at least.

Apr 02 2010
2 Comments
Parenthood

Oscillating between Helicopter Mother and Horrible Mother

Feeling very down right now.  I thought I had found my way in this relatively new role as mother.  Thought I was doing well.  Apparently not.

A few weeks ago while waiting at a doctor’s office, I read an article in a parenting magazine about “Helicopter” mothers.  “Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach, whether their children need them or not.” — from Wikipedia.  At birthday parties.  At the park.  Inhibiting the child’s ability to do for themselves and explore on their own. (This term was originally coined for parents who couldn’t cut loose when their child went off to college.)

That weekend we were invited to a birthday party for a co-worker’s daughter.  I took Monkey and because of Monkey’s shyness and clinging I realized that maybe I’ve been a Helicopter Mother and it’s stunting his social growth.  I was shy as a kid and my mother, should they have had this term then, was probably a Helicopter Mother as well.  So after leaving that party I decided that I wasn’t going to inhibit his social growth anymore by hovering.

I suppose I chose the wrong place to test this new mothering theory out — the playground.

Today we went to a local playground which many people in our town like to visit.  On a day like today (and being Spring Break), there were many kids there.  I decided, like many mothers there, to sit on the bench and watch while Monkey played.  This worked out fine and he was enjoying himself thoroughly until …

Monkey decided that he wanted to climb on those arched bars they have on playgrounds now … like the one pictured (the yellow ones to the right of the slides).  I went over and asked him to get down.  He refused.  I took him off of the bars and walked him to another piece of the playground.  He went on the slides and I decided to text DH a picture I took of him on the playground.  Then I heard him crying and saw he was going to the ground underneath those bars I just took him off of previously.  I ran over and a mother who was nearby explained to me that he hit his head on the bars.  He had a knot the size of nickel on the back of his head with a red mark in the middle.  It wasn’t bleeding but he was really upset.  I picked him up and told him we were leaving.  He said, “No! I want to stay.”  So after a few minutes of back and forth, I decided that if he was willing and able to stay, we would.

Once Monkey calmed down, he went back to the playground equipment (this time with me at close proximity — 2-4 feet at all times).  But that didn’t last long — not because of another accident, but because I pointed out a HUGE beetle to him that was crawling on the ground near the slides.  He got excited and some other slightly older kids came to look.  Then the older boy of that group picked it up on a stick and the group (including Monkey) spent the next hour running about the playground area near the picnic tables trying to get the beetle to “eat” things they found on the ground, or trying to get it to climb on different sticks.  Basically, tormenting the beetle.  But Monkey loved it.  And when the other kids all ran off to another area of the park (a gazebo area with more picnic tables), he asked me if he could “play with the kids”.  Of course I told him yes but made sure he didn’t climb the picnic tables or do anything else which might end up in another massive BOO-BOO.

But tonight, I’m not feeling the same warm-fuzzy as I was watching him play with the other kids.  Perhaps it’s because I had to explain the situation to DH again and he was displeased to say the least.  Perhaps it’s because I’m paranoid about Monkey having a concussion and not waking in the morning.  Perhaps it’s because I know that in between waking him every few hours, I will be hard pressed to get sleep myself.

So now which parenting method is best?  Can I find a happy middle?

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